[DONE] Krory Gallahand

Personal Information

First & Last Name: Krory Gallahand
Age: 19
Eye color: Red
Hair color: Grey
Weight & Height: 180 centimeters, 60 Kg

Appearance & Clothing: Krory is rather sickly in appearance. His skin is pale, his skin is taunt and his eyes always have bags. He is covered in strange disembodied hands just to top off his already great natural first impression of "creepy and gross." A hand covers his face obscuring his facial features, however his eyes are not covered by the hand. But they are constantly hidden by his messy hair and tendency to hang his head so they might as well be. His attire consists entirely of generic black clothing, either he doesn't care for fashion or he is having a late goth phase.

Special features: Remember the strange disembodied hands clutching onto his body? That probably counts as a special feature. There is a pair on his wrists, fore arms, biceps, shoulders, rib cage, over the front of his face and on the back of his head. These are a bi-product of a condition and pledge on his nen ability. As nen constructs they are only visible to people who use nen. In cannot be used to conceal them.


Origin and family

Origin:
Krory comes from a small town of little historical importance. He worked as a craftsmen following in the family business. The Gallahand family was the most remarkable feature of the village and the only reason anyone ever came as they specialized in metal working with nothing but their bare hands. For whatever reason a genetic trait of incredible grip and finger strength had developed in the family line that allowed them to perform this improbable and interesting to watch art. Not to mistake them for superhuman gods, the Gallahands weren't molding steel like play dough, it took time and effort and it only worked with some materials.

Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked...

Family & close People:

-Vincent Gallahand: Deceased father. Taught him the trade of metal working and raised him. Always taught Krory that being a "salt of the earth," type of man was the best thing to be.

-Maria Gallahand: Deceased mother. House wife to the core she treated Krory like her "little baby," until he day she died.

Personality

Personality & Behaviour: His parents instilled in him a value for hard work, contributing to society. To an extent they also taught him that any work but "making something good with your own hands," was unwholesome. However this was warped into misguided hatred of all walks of life that didn't involve making something. Carpenters, farmers, artists you're fine. Mercenaries, soldiers, politicians, and other leaders not so much.

His mental stability and psychological breakdown following the murder of his master have given him an extremist and mildly irrational outlook on life. He has a hatred of "powerful people," believing they should be subservient to craftsmen and people from what he defined as real professions. So the natural response was to start killing Hunters! As said before it was rather irrational. He was under great mental stress and he had Hunters on the mind so his brain made a connection where there wasn't really one.

He views himself as scum. He realizes that he is evil and his actions will label him as such by society. Krory has come to terms with the fact that he is a horrible person who does horrible things. But he believes himself a sacrificial lamb, he thinks he has sacrificed his own goodness to save the rest of the world. Which allows him to justify doing damn near anything if he can think of some way it will better humanity.

Strengths & Weaknesses:
Krory is a craftsmen and artisan. He is highly capable in metalworking, most notable with nothing but his hands, and can make tools, sculptures and weapons given just a bit of metal and time.

On the flip side his absurd hand strength and shaky mental state makes him prone to break things he is holding. In one way of putting it he is an all powerful klutz. Anything fragile and even things that aren't can't expect to stay in one piece long in his hands.

He has incredibly hand-eye coordination and has a very adept sense of touch. Assuming he doesn't break it in the process, given just a good feel and he can draw in great detail even things he has never seen in his life.

His torture days have made him more adept at taking pain but it wasn't exactly great anti-torture training. It also left him with a poor constitution.  He is prone to illness and he uses up his energy very quickly. His body is strong but he just doesn't have the energy to keep using that strength for long.
Goals:
"The total and complete destruction of the Hunter's Organization." In those word's exactly.

History
Remember back to his family's history of being able to work metal with their bare hands.

The family would put on shows of their craft to help bring visitors and business to the town. It was a decent tourist trap that helped the town through some tough times. But it eventually brought undesirable attention as a man came to the town under the impression that the skills of the Gallahand's would make them incredible human lock picks. He approached Krory's father to employ him in less then legal activity.

His father refused and was met with a blade through his gut as a reward. The man threatened the same to his wife unless she took him up on his offer, however she also refused and met the same fate. But Krory was different. He didn't want to die. So he crushed the man's skull with his bare hands.

As it turned out that man was nothing but a talent agent for a much larger organization. An organization that would seek compensation for their fallen member. Unfortunately the talent agent was no rookie either, he was a personal friend of the organization's head. Their vengeance brought Krory's home town to ash and left him locked away to be tortured. He had no idea how he stayed in chains, or how long he spent under the torture master's cruel care but it was ample time to shape his world view. He developed a strong hatred for, ironically, the strong. His helplessness grew into a hatred of powerful people and he began to believe that strong people should only use their strength to help the weak. More on this later.

Eventually the cruelty of the organization saved him. As they insisted on keeping him alive for torture eventually a Hunter put an end to the organization and saved him. The Hunter took him in as his apprentice, taught him the ways of the world and of nen. Krory put his hands to use, learning to use them to become a "hero of justice," that would protect the weak from organizations like that which ruined his home.

But things didn't go quite as planned. As Krory learned more and more about the Hunter's Organization from his mentor he began to develop a distaste for them. Specifically he was bothered by the benefits of the Hunter's License and the Hunter's Exam. In his eyes it was a "free ticket to the the easy life for the strong." This conflicted with his hatred of powerful people. But the straw that broke the camels back was discovering the organization that had tortured him had members who had passed the Hunter's Exam and used their License's to cover up illegal activity.

His master had withheld the information from him so in his anger Krory attacked his master from behind and crushed his throat killing him. With his hands stained with blood, his mental stability weakened by extensive torture and his anger running high he suffered intensive psychological damage and his world view became twisted.

He began to blame the Hunter's Organization for allowing the strong to oppress the weak. He saw it as a "cheat," in the system. He believed strong people should use their might to help the weak and anyone who didn't use their strength for the good of all was just as bad as someone who used it for a bad purpose. As such he considered the benefits of the Hunter's License as an opt out of his "rules." All this compiled into the belief that the Hunter's Organization was a source of corruption that had to be destroyed. So he became what he hated, powerful, and did so with the end goal to destroy the Hunter's Organization.

One would think he would target the type of criminal syndicates that tore his old life apart. You know the people really responsible. But he wasn't quite sane anymore.


Character Image




Avatar origin: Tomura Shigaraki - Boku No Hero Academia

Writing Sample
I wasn't up to writing up a new sample when I made this app so here have a post I made on some other site. Hope it isn't a problem.

Context: "Simon," is a wizard with Phoenix powers who works at a wizard guild called "Fairy Tail." It was just burned down by a villain called "Famine."

""Oi oi oi oi oi oi! What the shit happened here!?"

Simon stared at the burned guild hall in disbelief. He smacked his fist into his hand and grit his teeth in frustration. It was the morning after Famine's departure and Simon had just returned from a training journey. "Can't a guy go on a month long journey without any warning and not come back to his home in ashes?!" The phoenix mage shoved his hands in his coat pockets and took a deep breath and exclaimed in a voice far louder then one would think possible from such a small person,

"If you call yourself a mage of Fairy Tail! Get over here! We've got work to do!"

The Phoenix wanted to do many things. High on his list of priorities was a little good old fashioned pay back. Of course he also needed to figure out what happened in the first place. But first and foremost he was going to rebuild his home. That took priority. Everything else could wait. Maybe he was being insensitive to the circumstances but the rash kid was always a bit single minded and his one track mind was set on reconstruction.

While waiting for people to come to his call, he didn't even consider that they wouldn't, Simon was mentally envisioning the new guild hall. In his head he planned out what materials they would need and what everything would look like. He had a strong mental vision of what he wanted and intended to force it onto reality. Sure he didn't really have any authority in the guild being just another member, a very strong and respected member but still, he held no titles. But after seeing what happened in his leave Simon was already getting ideas of changing that. After reconstruction of course."

Character Stats

Health - 100
Aura - 100
Usable Aura - 10

Strength - 10 - Rank 1
Precision - 10 - Rank 1
Resilience - 10 - Rank 1
Speed - 10 - Rank 1

Nen

Native Nen: Emitter
Nen Theme: Hands

Nen-Points purchased: 0

Enhancer: Rank 0
Transmuter: Rank 0
Conjurer: Rank 0
Specialist: Rank 0
Manipulator: Rank 0
Emitter: Rank 1

Techniques

- N/A -

Items

- N/A -

I'd say this needs a bunch of work, sadly. I'm not even going to go through everything point by point. I'll just generally say, that so many things in there are severely lacking in description and reason. Explanations need to be included. Like for disembodied Hands. It just says it's there because of the Nen, that's it. And that's not enough. Since it's never touched on again. Same goes for the whole metal thing. It's too vague and "that's just how it is, freak of nature" does not suffice. Besides the point that that's very borderline allowable in the first place. In line with that, there's repeated mention of incredible strength used for various activities like crushing skulls. Third time's not any better. This needs to be refined as well. Since that is a lot of strength we're talking about if it bends metal and crushes skulls easily. You're just beginning, and even if you invest all your starting experience into nothing but strength, this is a tad bit too much.

More specifically now, the history is awfully focused on a tiny handful of events in a 19 year lifespan. For one thing, since it does not mention any time or age references, this needs to be panned out a little. For the same reason that it needs panning, it's also questionable how this personality is supposed to work. A personality is not that easily completely shattered as described here, unless the person in question was very young when it happened. A young adult will not suddenly turn into a "kill everyone" maniac type if he's doesn't happen to be mentally unstable or ill in the first place. Teenage minds are malleable, but they don't just crack into insanity That's why there needs to be age and time passage references. Otherwise i have to guess and i'm not the best at it.

Unrelated, while it might be a slight oversight on our end until now, we'll also require mention whose alt character this is from now on, for pure clarity.

And finally, you have to explain your Nen Theme a little bit in your second post with at least a sentence or two to make it less ambiguous up front.

Since you told me you are not gonna finish this character. I move it to denied.